Blog · Nervous System & Rest
Why Silence Is So Good for Your Nervous System (and Why We Fill It Right Back Up)
Silence gives your nervous system exactly what it doesn’t get all day long: a moment without having to filter anything. And yet most of us fill that silence back up within a few seconds. In this blog, you’ll read why, what silence does to your body, and how you can start today.
By Ilse-Marie Sobering · House of InnerPower
In short
Your nervous system filters sound all day long, even without you noticing. Silence gives that filtering a rest: heart rate, blood pressure and breathing can even drop below resting level. Yet most people fill silence back up within seconds, because it opens up space for what they push away during the day. Start small: five minutes of silence is already enough.
You’re walking through the city. A bus pulling away, a siren a few streets over, music from an open shop door, a terrace full of voices, a bicycle bell right behind you, someone walking by on a loud phone call, your phone buzzing in your pocket. You hear all of it, and at the same time you’ve long stopped hearing it. Only once you get home and the door falls shut behind you do you notice how tired you actually are. And all you did was go grocery shopping.
And what do you do then, at home, in that first moment of silence? You probably turn something on. The radio, a series, a podcast while cooking, your phone next to you on the couch. The silence is there for a moment, and almost immediately we fill it again.
We often treat silence as something for vacations and retreats, but for your system it’s more of a basic need.
Why Do You Feel Overstimulated So Often?
All those sounds from that one walk through the city land somewhere. Your hearing is never switched off. Even when you’re asleep, the oldest part of your brain keeps analysing sounds. Is this safe? Is this danger? That filtering happens all day long, without you noticing, and it costs energy. Sounds your system perceives as threatening also trigger your stress response, again and again.
So if in the evening all you want to do is lie on the couch and scroll, that’s not so strange. Your system has been filtering all day and is simply worn out from it.
Why Do We Fill Silence Back Up So Quickly?
You’d think that after a day like that we’d crave nothing at all. Yet most of us reach for sound at exactly that moment. Silence often feels uncomfortable, and that’s not just something about you.
Researchers from the universities of Virginia and Harvard had people sit alone in a room for a short time, with no phone, no distraction, nothing to do but think. For many participants, that was so uncomfortable that some of them would rather give themselves a mild electric shock than spend that time in silence. Doing something, even something unpleasant, felt easier than doing nothing for a moment.
The harder you push something away, the harder it comes back. Silence doesn’t ask you to push anything away, just to stop filling for a moment.
That doesn’t mean something is wrong with us. It shows how strongly we’ve become used to filling. As soon as it goes quiet, space opens up, and in that space, what we keep at a distance during the day can sometimes make itself felt. No wonder we quickly turn the radio on.
What Does Silence Do to Your Nervous System?
Silence gives your system exactly what it doesn’t get all day: a moment without having to filter anything. No new information, no assessment of safe or unsafe, no reaction needed.
There’s a physiological side to this too. Researchers studying the effect of music on the heart and circulation discovered something they weren’t looking for: the short silences between the pieces of music had the strongest effect. Heart rate, blood pressure and breathing dropped during those pauses to even below resting level. The silence did more than the calm music.
Let’s be honest: silence doesn’t solve everything. It’s not a miracle cure and not a treatment. But it is an environment in which your nervous system gets the chance to settle, and more clarity often arises naturally from that calm. From silence, you enter flow.
What If Silence Actually Brings Restlessness?
For some people, restlessness creeps in as soon as they sit still. Thoughts get louder, emotions come up, the body starts to fidget. That doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong. Usually it means space is opening up for what was already there.
That’s why pacing yourself matters. You don’t need to go straight to a week-long silent retreat. Start small: a few minutes is enough. And if it becomes too much, you’re always allowed to stop, open your eyes, move. You stay in control.
How Do You Start With Silence in a Busy Life?
Silence doesn’t require an empty house or a free schedule. It just requires that, for once, you don’t fill it right away.
Walk a short distance once a day without your phone, a podcast or music. Just you and the sounds outside.
Let the car or the kitchen be quiet for once. No radio, no background music. Notice what happens.
Take three minutes before you start your workday. Feet on the ground, eyes soft, and listen to what’s there.
Build in a quiet moment before sleep. No screen, no input. Just your breath.
You don’t have to get it perfectly quiet. What matters is that your system regularly gets a break from all that filtering. Not just once. Again and again. Every single time.
The InnerPower Method
What Does Silence Have to Do With LAND • BREATHE • FEEL?
The InnerPower Method is a cyclical return practice in which you return to yourself again and again. Silence is a natural doorway for that.
LAND
In silence, you can land: feeling your feet, the ground beneath you, the here and now. Your nervous system gets the signal that it doesn’t have to do anything for a moment.
BREATHE
From that landing, your breath naturally becomes audible. Not as a technique, but as something that was always already there. A few soft belly breaths create space in your body.
FEEL
And then you get to feel what’s actually there. Fatigue, relief, restlessness, longing. Without judgment, without solving it right away.
Sometimes one breath in silence is enough to return to yourself just a little bit. That’s where it begins.
One Small Step for Today
Choose one moment today where you don’t fill the silence right away. Five minutes without your phone, music or a podcast. Put your feet on the ground, let your breath become softer, and say to yourself: I don’t have to solve anything right now, I get to land first.
Want to explore silence, breath and nervous system regulation in person? Have a look at the upcoming sessions and retreats from House of InnerPower.
This blog shares scientific insights and practical experience and is not medical or therapeutic advice. If you have persistent complaints, have someone assess your situation who can guide you personally.
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Frequently Asked Questions About Silence and Your Nervous System
What does silence do to your nervous system?
Silence gives your system a break from the constant filtering of sound. Research on the heart and circulation showed that short silences brought heart rate, blood pressure and breathing down below resting level. It’s not a treatment, but it is an environment in which your nervous system can settle.
Why do I find silence uncomfortable?
That’s completely normal. In a series of experiments by the universities of Virginia and Harvard, many participants found it so uncomfortable to be alone with their thoughts that some would rather give themselves a mild electric shock. As soon as it goes quiet, space opens up for what you keep at a distance during the day.
How much silence do you need per day?
There’s no fixed number. Five minutes where you don’t fill the silence right away is already a start. Regularity works better than length: better a short moment every day than one long session once a month.
What if silence actually makes me restless?
Then you can pace yourself. Start with a few minutes, stay with your breath and your feet on the ground, and stop when it becomes too much. You stay in control. With persistent complaints, it’s a good idea to have someone assess your situation who can guide you personally.
What is the InnerPower Method?
The InnerPower Method is LAND • BREATHE • FEEL: a cyclical return practice from House of InnerPower, developed by Ilse-Marie Sobering. You land in your body, you let your breath create space, and you feel what’s there, without having to solve it. Not three separate exercises, but a movement in which you return to yourself again and again.
About the author
Ilse-Marie Sobering is the founder of House of InnerPower and developer of the InnerPower Method: LAND • BREATHE • FEEL. She leads Yin Yoga and Yoga Nidra trainings, breathwork and retreats in the Netherlands and Spain, and works with nervous system regulation, fascia, embodiment and trauma-sensitive bodywork.
Sources
Wilson, T.D., Reinhard, D.A., Westgate, E.C., Gilbert, D.T., et al. (2014). Just think: The challenges of the disengaged mind. Science, 345(6192), 75–77. Participants found it so uncomfortable to be alone with their thoughts that some would rather give themselves a mild electric shock than sit in silence. View the study
Bernardi, L., Porta, C., & Sleight, P. (2006). Cardiovascular, cerebrovascular, and respiratory changes induced by different types of music in musicians and non-musicians: the importance of silence. Heart, 92(4), 445–452. Inserted silences between pieces of music lowered heart rate, blood pressure and breathing below resting level. View the study
Ilse-Marie Sobering is the founder of House of InnerPower and the creator of the InnerPower Method: LAND • ADEM • VOEL (Land, Breathe, Feel), a cyclical practice of returning to yourself again and again. She has studied yoga philosophy and Eastern philosophy for more than 25 years, and has worked professionally since 2015 as an E-RYT 500 yoga and Yoga Nidra teacher, mindfulness and breathwork coach, Ayurveda practitioner and EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) practitioner. In Spain, where she lived for seven years, she taught trainings, teacher trainings and retreats at various locations in the Málaga region, including near Periana, Nerja and Frigiliana. She now works from the Netherlands, teaching trainings and speaking in the Netherlands, in Spain and online. Within the method she works with Yin Yoga, Yoga Nidra, breathwork, meditation, Qigong and somatic work, complemented with elements from her hypnotherapy training. She teaches teacher trainings, continuing education and company training, for people living with long-term stress and for professionals who want to deepen the way they guide others.
